A True Valentine
Lucy Fraser's short reflection on love for Valentines Day.
Love is patient
In Romans 13 we hear that “love is the fulfillment of the Law,” and in John chapter 1 we are taught that ‘God is love’. What does this mean? In the catechism it talks about how of all visible beings, only Man is able to know and love his Creator. This love story is one of God seeking Man, and all too often this love is unrequited. God does not force himself on us, Love by it’s nature cannot be forced. In the excerpt of the poem by George Herbert above, this drawing back from God’s love is the knowledge that we can’t match it, and the further we stray, the harder it seems to find God’s light again, and yet He tells us that He sends rain and shine to the just and the unjust alike; He turns the whole house upside down looking for a single penny.
The Church is the Bride of Christ and as Bridegroom He wants unity with us. This isn’t just an analogy, this really explains how, coming to Christ through the sacraments, we abide in Him and He in us. Julian of Norwich said “God is nearer to us than our own Spirit” and refers to Him as ‘Maker, lover and carer’, furthermore Bishop Sheen says “Salvation is nothing more than wedlock with God”. Holy Communion separates us from sin, and this necessarily brings us ever closer to God. So there is this persistent and urgent direction to hold onto God in this embrace, and I think Julian of Norwich and other Nuns, Sisters and Mystics throughout Church history are a good example of this. St Catherine of Siena’s mystical marriage to Christ, so often depicted in Christian art, shows her exchanging vows with Christ as the Blessed Virgin Mary oversees the rite. We can see how the many women who have given their lives to Christ through their religious vows are indeed brides of Christ.
Love is charitable
Love One Another in Christ. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her in order to sanctify her by cleansing her with water and the word, in order to present the Church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such flaw, but holy and without the slightest blemish. – Ephesians 5:25-27
This verse in Ephesians perfectly teaches how Christ sanctifies the Church through this instruction to husbands. When we enter into Matrimony, we become eternally one flesh. Similarly, when we come to Christ at the Mass, we consume His body. So, it is commonly illustrated as a triangle, when a couple strives to be closer to God, they ultimately are brought closer together. In this way, we learn to make sacrifices for each other and forgive one another and fully understand how marriage is a vocation and Sacrament that is a living reflection of Christ’s relationship to His bride, the Church. As with all the Sacraments, Matrimony is meant to bring us closer to God. There will be hard times, but it is not a contract, it is not an exchange of goods – it is a mysterious union, in that we cannot see the bond except in the creation of life, and yet it somehow becomes more solid and deeply rooted over time. As Bishop Sheen put it in his book ‘Three to get Married’ - a must-read for all married couples: “Then came the mystery of the other’s inner life.”
Love is not envious
Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13
Love is the act of seeking God; so much so that the feeling of love, whether it’s joyful or woeful, is described as being ‘moved’; moved to act upon this physical sensation that sits heavy in our chests, and yet it cannot be removed physically – as love cannot be taken back once it has given. So, God is sought through all of these things but particularly through charity because we are taught that loving our neighbour is second only to loving God. Loving others when we have no familial connection or when they are in other ways not easily loved, is certainly proof that love is an act of the will. The Sacraments are acts of love that are responses to God’s love – which is the ‘fulfilment of the Law’ through the sacrifice of His only Son. To paraphrase St Thomas Aquinas, love may sometimes look like fierceness, such as through discipline and meting out justice, but ultimately it is wanting the best for our neighbours. Something that stayed with me since childhood was the fairytale motif of the Fairy Godmother or other mystical being approaching the protagonist in disguise as a poor beggar to gauge their character; the moral of the story being that strangers may in fact be angels. Not only this, but if Christ died for your neighbour, then we should love them for that alone.
Lucy Fraser
Lucy writes in her own Substack (Pilgriminalba) from Morayshire near her beloved Pluscarden Abbey. You will find her substack in our recommendations section on our menu page. If you want to have a taste of her writing follow the link here to her latest article here. On the work of a British sculpturer whose long career has included some special pieces in Pluscarden Abbey, most recently the sleeping St Joseph in their new womens accomodation.
Have a look at some of Scotland’s saints including St Finan who continued Iona’s influence on Northumbrian Christianity, including welcoming two Anglo-Saxon Kings to the faith. We also have another Saint - St Boisil, connected with Lindisfarne and Melrose Abbey. We carry the stories of many of our Saints in the section - Calendar of Scottish Saints, please have a look.
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