He Knows What He is About
I write about St John Henry Newmans impact on my life, we add new feature called The Diary, inaugurated by Rebecca Blakey and publish some brand new poetry from Olivia Findlay. Welcome!
In 1833 St John Henry Newman wrote the famous poem Lead Kindly Light on his long Mediterranean journey between Sicily and England, becoming sick with Typhoid and as the poem shows had a growing sense of change in the air. On his return to England, he, John Keeble and others would begin the Oxford Movement which they hoped would bring reform to the Anglican Church. But the change that was wrought was in his own soul for in Littlemore on October 9th 1845 he made confession to the Passionist Priest Blessed Dominc Barbieri and entered the Catholic Church.
The poem mentioned above was originally titled The Pillar of the Cloud which of course is a reference to the means in which God lead the Israelites out of Egypt into the wilderness and eventually on to the Promised land of Canaan. This poem had a big impact upon my own conversion to Catholicism; for I felt the growing call from the Spirit to enter the true Church, I could empathise deeply with the line; ‘Lead, Kindly, Light, amid the encircling gloom,Lead Thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home’. The life of St John Henry Newman on the run up to his entering the Catholic Church was a journey, one lead through difficult times by the great pillar of the cloud, which was God.
I had been a key leader in an evangelical church for 10 years, had attended its Bible College and after graduating moved from Edinburgh to Inverness to help with a new church. I was even eventually employed by that church to do outreach and evangelism. I had also met and married by lovely wife and begun a family in it. So, you could say my life was pretty embedded into it. But at that moment in time I wasn’t just considering leaving my church, but also the Christian faith. I was having a full-blown crisis and felt very lost. What saved me? The Holy Spirit. He is not called our Helper for nothing! He led me (accidentally as I saw it at the time) to a Mass and as I stared up at the large crucifix in St Marys Inverness I responded as St Peter did – to where would I go?
We cannot have faith without the Holy Spirit – the Catechism states:
"No one can say 'Jesus is Lord' except by the Holy Spirit."1 "God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!"'2 This knowledge of faith is possible only in the Holy Spirit: to be in touch with Christ, we must first have been touched by the Holy Spirit. He comes to meet us and kindles faith in us. By virtue of our Baptism, the first sacrament of the faith, the Holy Spirit in the Church communicates to us, intimately and personally, the life that originates in the Father and is offered to us in the Son.
My faith in God began to stabilise but I was not yet home, I was in Littlemore, but like Newman I had to spend some time there before my confession. Again, my journey was led by the Holy Spirit for again in the catechism we see His role:
688 The Church, a communion living in the faith of the apostles which she transmits, is the place where we know the Holy Spirit:
- in the Scriptures he inspired;
- in the Tradition, to which the Church Fathers are always timely witnesses;
- in the Church's Magisterium, which he assists;
- in the sacramental liturgy, through its words and symbols, in which the Holy Spirit puts us into communion with Christ;
- in prayer, wherein he intercedes for us;
- in the charisms and ministries by which the Church is built up;
- in the signs of apostolic and missionary life;
- in the witness of saints through whom he manifests his holiness and continues the work of salvation.
I was guided into truth because as Jesus says in St Johns Gospel, Chapter 16 verse 13: When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.
For me when I read that verse it reminds me of the time I needed to hear the truth. What was the truth? That there was God who saw me, died for me and made a way for me to enter His family. Most importantly, that I was a loved son. The Israelites on their journey through the wilderness at times wanted to go back, even with a great cloud leading them (shows how fickle humanity is!) but there was no way back. The same was for me, I could not just ignore what I found and so I made the choice, as St John Henry Newman did at Littlemore and all thanks to the work of the Spirit.
Today know that you are loved by Him and that regardless of what is going on He is that Kindly Light leading you on. Let us repeat the prayer of St John Henry Newman and say:
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene, — one step enough for me.
God Bless – Eric
The Diary: Rebecca Blakey, in this new feature, recounts her journey back from Santiago, Chile to Scotland in April. Rebecca is now resident in Fort Augustus.
St John Paul II on the Rosary: The thoughts of this great Pope on the Rosary from a man who had a special veneration for Our Lady.
The 5 Minute Ambo: Another great video from the St John Ogilive Centre in Elgin, this time from Sr Mary Gianna talking about what it means to be a ‘practising Catholic’.
This week we have the special privilege of publishing new poetry from Olivia Findlay who will be releasing a book of poems in the Spring. This one is called Clean Heart and is about Our Lady.
Blessings - Eric and The Team