United with Christ's Suffering
Katherine Bale writes openly and honestly about her own struggles with faith and her issues with mental health and disability. Whether you suffer the same or not, it is an encouraging message.
According to the World Health Organisation, one in four people will experience mental health problems in their lifetime. Religion does not make you immune to mental illness. I have struggled with my mental health all my adult life and it is complicated by a neurological disability. I have had periods of being very unwell and I have been hospitalised.
My faith has been patchy in the past and so I have faced times of poor mental health both with and without consciousness of God. The times when I was trying to manage alone were much worse than the times when I knew God was with me. But believing in God is not a comforting fairy tale. There is solid evidence to back up belief in Jesus, and the philosophical arguments for the existence of God are convincing. If this were not the case, there would be no point believing a delusion even if it did make you feel better.
Facing difficult times without God was dark and lonely. Everything felt pointless and arbitrary. But facing similar situations with God offers hope. Faith doesn’t make you magically better, or mean you will suffer less. It doesn’t mean you have to cope better or be an exemplary patient. You still struggle and make bad choices and lose perspective. But you are not alone in it.
When a person has a physical illness, they may be aware of themselves becoming ill. They might be distressed by this, and they may not react well, for example becoming irritable. They might make poor choices such as failing to stay hydrated. The same is true with mental illness. Sometimes you can see it coming on, but there’s no more you can do to stop it than a bodily infection. It might be frightening and overwhelming, which can feed back into the situation and make it worse. You might be difficult for others to be around, or mask what your experiencing and hide it. You might engage in behaviours that fuel the illness rather than aid recovery. But this is no different from facing any other type of illness. You aren’t to blame, and you aren’t being self-indulgent.
All of this can be shared with Jesus. Being a Christian isn’t something you have to be well for. You don’t have to wait to be in a good frame of mind to pray. The words don’t matter, it’s a desire from the heart. I’m in the middle of a bad patch right now and I know I’m getting a lot of things wrong. I stopped going to Mass because of anxiety over the Covid changes. But I got help and was able to return, and being in the presence of the Eucharist is doing me a lot of good. Usually I don’t want to leave the church after Mass because everything is simpler there. It’s all about Jesus. But I do have to leave church, and I must find ways to keep my mind on God the rest of the time.
When I am feeling bad I find prayer difficult. Sitting down without distractions is unpleasant and daunting. Often the only prayer I can manage is the rosary. It literally gives you something to hang onto. When I’m feeling bad I can’t meditate on the mysteries, sometimes I can’t work out what day it is or what the mysteries are. But I can still hold the beads and recite the constituent prayers, and during that time I know that God is with me. I also know that Mary is praying for me and with me, and that is a big comfort. I usually pray the rosary while outside walking. This feels easier to me than sitting in the house. I try to do it every day.
A precious thing I have learned since becoming Catholic is that all pain and suffering can be given to Jesus, united with His suffering on the cross and made redemptive. Nothing is wasted or pointless. Jesus takes it all and uses it for good. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to get better, but while you are suffering it can be used for good. If you are consecrated to Mary, she will help you make that offering because you are giving everything to Jesus through her. There are times when you feel terrible and aren’t able to reach out to Jesus at all. But during those times Mary does it for you and continues to make the offering of your suffering and love to Jesus. This help from Mary is a gift from God. He surrounds us with His love and care and holds on to us when we are falling apart.
To have some context to her reflection above, please click here, which will take you to her site. It is well worth visiting. There is also ten good quotes on not wasting your suffering found here.
Katherine Bale | Inverurie Catholic Church
The Cross of Christ
Be the cross of christ between me and the fays
That move occulty out or in,
Be the cross of Christ between me and all ill,
All ill-will, and ill-mishap.
Be the angels of heaven shielding me,
The angels of heaven this night,
Be the angels of heaven keeping me
soul and body alike.
Be the compassing of Christ around me
From every spectre, from every evil,
From every shame that is coming harmfully
In darkness, in power to hurt.
Be the compassing of the might of Christ
Shielding me from every harm,
Be keeping me from everything ruinous
Coming destructively towards me this night.
Adapted from the Carmina Gadelica, Eighth printing, 2018 by Floris Books.
God bless for the week - normal newsletter structure will resume next week. We just felt the reflection from Katherine was quite special and deserved to have the lime-light.