Wrestling with the Almighty
Reverend Chris Doig, writing from Rome, talks about wrestling with God. We celebrate the Cross and we learn about St Kieran. Welcome to your Coracle!
I remember in my years at primary school and even into high school we would play wrestling out on the grass during break times – strongly discouraged by the teachers for obvious reasons! - and there was one guy, massive and weighing a ton, who was undefeatable, but you would always try to overpower him anyway, knowing that he would take you down in an instant.
As you all know, the readings for the 22nd Sunday of Ordinary Time were about Jeremiah complaining about going out to preach “disaster and ruin”(Jer 20:8)” and Peter who tried to stop Jesus going to Jerusalem, “this will not happen to you (Mt 16:23).”
These readings struck me in a new way, not only because they speak of the current state of my own life but this has generally been a theme in my own spiritual life and in my vocation. This may sound alarming, but it's not really.
While I was I meditating on the gospel story of Peter getting in the way of Jesus – in greek, obviously – a word jumped off the page, in such a strong forceful way that it produced an image in my mind. Our English translation which goes “and he took time aside” is more like “he grabbed him” or “seized him.” I got a sense of Peter really trying to stop Jesus, the rock became the “stumbling block”, the obstacle on the path to Jerusalem. After Peter warned Jesus, he received a strong rebuke back, “get behind me, Satan.” Peter was put in his place.
This immediately led me back to the story of Jacob who wrestled with God, who wounded him and then gave him a new name – Israel, the one who sees God. The same goes for us: when we fight with the Lord we come to know Him in a more profound way. We know Him as the One who desires our ultimate good even though we may not always see it at first.
He is the Almighty, the one who overpowers, even “seduces” as the Prophet Jeremiah would say (Jer 20:7); God is the stronger.
This is no way means that God's will does violence to us or is somehow against human nature; rather, it is the struggle of trying to align our wills with His and often we kick up a tantrum and try to do our own thing. And how quickly do we come to know that God was right in the first place!
God probably not only enjoys but also desires a bit of a fight with us. It is in the fight that His will becomes clear for us; He really speaks and asks us to trust Him. We think that our own thoughts and words are strong, but just one word of His cuts to the heart, calls to conversion and to trust in Him. In the end all we can do is let ourselves be seduced (Jer 20:8).
Throughout my own journey towards the priesthood I have had moments where I have doubted my own strengths while also putting a question to the Lord: “are you sure you know what you're doing?” On various occasions I have wanted a good wrestle with Him, waiting to see who was the stronger. He laughs from the heavens and willingly “puts forth his arm in strength” (Lk 1:51) and reveals who is in charge here. The arm which God puts forth is undoubtedly His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. It is in the wobbly moments that Jesus reveals more of Himself and reassures me that someone more powerful is in charge, not me (thank God). I need to get out of the way to let Jesus go to Jerusalem; all I have to do is follow him!
It is not easy to let go of our own plans, ideas and being in control of every situation. There is always part of us that fights to keep that control and that is the part that needs to die. We also want to control our own spiritual life and we can often wrestle with the Lord over the way we should be growing in holiness. 'I want to be holy in the way that I want; I have a list of my spiritual goals and plans and things should go as I want.' This is us trying to be active but, as St John of the Cross teaches, we must go through the passive night of the senses and the spirit, which means our holiness comes about through what we put up with and what we endure – and not through our spiritual plan of life, important as it is to follow!
Even Jesus had to go through a struggle in Gethsemane where he asked that the Father's will be done: “remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will. (Mk 14:37)” His own soul was troubled at the thought of what was about to happen (Jn 12:27). His human will, like ours, does not want to die. As Jesus is both true God and true man, the two wills are brought together: our human wills can now do God's will! For that we pray each day: “Thy will be done” (Mt 6:10), but it is still a struggle and we often have to take it out on the Lord on the grass only to find out that He has the stronger arm; He is more powerful – the Almighty!
When we let our own will die and always seek to do God's will, we will truly find life and peace. “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it (Mt 16:25).”
Reverend Chris Doig | Scots College, Rome
The Exaltation of the Cross: The Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross is on Monday the 14th. Franciscan Media briefly explains the origins of this feast which goes back to the 4th Century.
Bishop Barron on the Cross: A 15 minute talk from World Youth Day 2016 on Mercy and The Cross.
I’m a Secular Franciscan: This is Part Two of the mini-series we began the week before last. Bridget Gordon writes about what life is like as a Secular Franciscan. To see Part One click here.
The FiveMinute Ambo: A new series from the St John Ogilvie Centre in Elgin. Its aim is to provide brief (5 minute) explanations on the topics in the Catechicism. Below each video, which will be released once a week, will be links to fuller explanations. Have a look!
St Kieran 516-549AD | Feast Day 9th September
St Kieran, a son of a Carpenter and chariot builder, was born in Connacht, Ireland around 516AD. He studied under St Finnian in Clonard (not to be confused with St Finan of Scotland), who himself was a significant and important Irish Saint. He reputedly spent 7 years with the holy St Enda on Aran before moving to a monastery in central Ireland called Isel. He was eventually moved off that by the other monks for showing ‘excessive charity’. After some time on Hare Island he and few other companions began the great Clonmacnoise Monastery on the banks of the Shannon in Offaly, and he became its first Abbot. This monastery lasted for around 1000 years before it fell to the dissolution of the monasteries in 1552. It was a renowned and important centre for Irish and European learning throughout its existence, a university and important place for artisans and Kings.
St Kieran has a strong connection with Argyll and had the friendship and admiration of St Columba. One colourful story recounts how all the Irish Saints of his day prayed for his early death, except St Columba! St Kieran’s chief connection with Argyll lies on Davaar, at the mouth of Campbelltown Loch. There in a cave he spent some time and apparently prayed so much on one particular rock by the mouth of the cave, you could see his knee imprints! He died around 549AD and is buried in Clonmacnoise. He was apparently meant to have asked the monks to leave his bones buried on the hill and his spirit preserved, so that he would not become relics. There are churches on Lismore, Islay, Argyll and Barvas dedicated to this Saint. There are also churches in Caithness, Kincardineshire and Ayrshire dedicated to a Saint of the same name, but it is disputed whether it is the same Saint we are talking about here.
There is also some scholarly chatter that he is St Piran of Cornwall, due to linguistic evidence and a copy of an early Irish medieval text in Exeter Cathedral.
So here we are again, trying to pick through evidence of a life which at points seem contradictory and can also seem at times like a number of Saints rolled into one. Did he ever come to Davaar? It is certainly not beyond the bounds of travel that he did. I would however like to look at the man himself.
He was the son of a carpenter, died young and whose legacy helped build Catholic Ireland and ultimately Scotland. Similarities with the life of Jesus abound here, possibly deliberate or possibly not. What is clear is; he was a humble man, a prayerful man, a man of great charity and someone who although only given a short time used every minute of it. He died around the age of 30 or 32 having given over his life to God and God richly used it to his glory. What might happen if we all took steps today to begin giving God our whole life? What could He accomplish through you? To finish on a rather apt scripture:
Wisdom of Solomon 4:7-9
But the righteous one, though he die early, shall be at rest. For the age that is honourable comes not with the passing of time, nor can it be measured in terms of years. Rather, understanding passes for grey hair, and an unsullied life is the attainment of old age.
Have a great week - God bless
Next week we will have a Special Edition celebrating St Ninian and evangelisation. We have contributions from Sancta Familia, SCY and Fr Kinglsey Ikenna of St Mary’s Fochabers will write the reflection.